When we decided we were officially going to start trying to start a family, my husband thought “JACKPOT. I’m going to have sex all the time and it’s going to be amazing. My wife is going to greet me naked everyday when I get home and it’s going to be go time all the time.” 

Fast forward two months, and he is laying in bed telling me he’s tired and not in the mood. Meanwhile I’m saying “no this is the last day of my ovulation window, we HAVE to”. Sexy, right? 

I thought that regularly scheduled sex was going to be something that we would both feel great about. But tracking your periods, ovulation, when you have the highest chance of getting pregnant and when you might need to take a pregnancy test in an app on your phone makes the process a whole lot less sexy. Sex goes from something fun and intimate to another thing you need to check off your to do list for that day.

I went ALL the way down the internet rabbit hole when we started trying. Okay don’t do it everyday. No wait, this website says do it everyday. Oh but it needs to be at this time of the day, and I have to avoid hot tubs afterwards (because most people have sex in the morning and immediately go jump into their hot tub, right?). There is SO MUCH conflicting information out there about this topic.

Shameless confession: I even read an article called “What Positions to Conceive In” and wanted to exclusively do those positions. Trying to get pregnant can make you insane. 

So if you are out there wanting to be a Mom and in your journey to motherhood, we understand the struggle. We understand what it’s like to be disappointed every month when you look at a negative pregnancy test and have to start the process all over again. We also understand what it’s like to see a positive pregnancy test and be overwhelmed AF by the thought of being a Mom and the fear that comes along with it. It is a rollercoaster. TV shows and movies will make you think it’s all glamorous and magical… but reality can be a lot different. 

While we aren’t fertility experts or medical experts (you can find those in other articles), we will say this: there is no right or wrong way to go about this process. When you find what works for you and your partner, that’s the way. Just because your neighbor peed on an ovulation strip every single day or your best friend used a tracking app that is THE best, it doesn’t mean that is going to work for you. Don’t get caught up in what you think you should be doing when it comes to starting a family. 

And never forget that no matter what the outcome: whether you get pregnant or not doesn’t define your worth as a woman. You are so much more than lines on a pregnancy test.