My Daughter's First Day of School: A Rollercoaster of Excitement and Fear

My oldest daughter started 4K….
As a mom, I had excitement for the new adventures that awaited her, and a deep sense of fear for the unknown. Since Covid, my husband and I were pretty set on the homeschool route; although I wanted to check out local schools before making a decision. I felt compelled to explore local schools before we made a final decision on which route to go. Also, my daughter is an extrovert to the max, so I want to ensure we support the best options for her.

Drive By

Prior to the school year starting, about 1 month prior, we had set up a meeting at a local school to see the school, meet some staff, and meet her teacher. (Being new, I didn’t know we needed to pre-enroll in school like months prior; so we were behind the curve)
We walked in the school and instantly had that gut feeling of, this is not for us. The meeting was rushed, the lady who had scheduled our meeting suddenly was like “I don’t have time for this or to show you the school, but she will see it on the first day”. The school was older, halls were dark, and it wasn’t the fun bright experience I was looking for. As a new mom, one who was already hesitant about school…. I was like, nope not doing it.

So on the way home, there was another school that had an opening, so I thought; let's just stop by and see if anyone is there.

We were met at the door by the principal, who was the nicest guy and invited us right in. He walked us around and luck would have it, her teacher was there preparing the classroom. We walked back, saw the class, chatted to the teacher, and my daughter said “mom, I like this place better than the other one”.

Finally

FINALLY, that feeling I was hoping to have checking out a school. So we enrolled her on the spot and my daughter was full of excitement about her new school. She couldn’t believe she was about to meet 15 new friends.

The days before, I had carefully chosen her outfit, googled how to do hair (I am a messy bun girl, so I wanted her to have fun hairstyles) laid out her backpack, and ensured that her lunchbox was packed with her favorite snacks, wrote her a little post-it note with hearts because she can’t read yet. I wanted every moment, every picture, everything… If you don’t know my background, it took us a lot to get pregnant; so I am here for EVERY moment I can enjoy.

The morning arrived, and the anticipation in our home was palpable. We made waffles, all the kids were up early so our entire family could bring her, and all. The first day they let us walk her all the way in. Skjeie was so excited, walked right in, sat at her 4k table with her new classmates, and started coloring. Me on the other hand, I did everything I could to not cry. I really just wanted her home with me. (I work from home, so her being gone is a drastic change. I have rarely been away from her since she was born.) So when it came time to say goodbye, I gave extra hugs and kisses and she was like “mom…. Too much”.

The Emotions:

We walked back out to the car, and I lost it! Cried, you know, the ugly cry. I was so happy for her, but so sad as now I am missing 4 hours a day with her!  Again, maybe dramatic… but we had just been planning the homeschool route for so long. So enrolling her and day 1 was like ripping a bandaid off, I suppose.
When the school day (she is in a morning 4k) finally came to an end, I eagerly awaited to pick her up. They sing a song and the teacher lets them go one by one when she sees the parents. She RAN up to me, jumped in my arms, and I couldn’t have been happier. She told me stories of her new friends, the fascinating things she got to do, and the adventures that awaited her in the coming days. Pure happiness and excitement for her new school and that is all I cared about.

My daughter's first day of school was a poignant reminder of the beautiful paradox of motherhood: motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with a mix of emotions when your child starts school – it's a blend of happiness as you watch them grow and learn, yet a touch of sadness knowing they're taking their first steps towards independence.
The first day (ok, let’s be real… the first week for me) was filled with both excitement and fear, with tears and laughter, and with the recognition that letting go and allowing her to embark on her own journeys is an essential part of her growth (and the only one crying was me!)

So for all the moms who had their kiddo start school for the first time in the last couple of weeks…. This is a significant time for you and your kid, so let those emotions flow. It’s ok to feel all the things or none of the things. This mama over here, I am still pulling it together and we are starting week 3.