You Are Allowed to Not Want Kids.

It’s unfortunately commonplace in casual conversation to ask women deeply personal questions.

When are you getting married?
When are you having kids? 

There are SO many things wrong with asking questions like these. Firstly, you never know what someone is struggling with behind closed doors whether it’s infertility, marital issues, or straight up that they don’t want to have kids. 

Questions like these insinuate that our worth as women is to find a man and procreate. For some people: to get married, settle down, have a family and be surrounded by grand babies someday sounds like the ultimate dream. 

For others, that idea sounds like hell. 

And BOTH options are okay. 

Somehow society has created a narrative that all women should want kids, and that if you don’t have the “maternal instinct” that something is wrong with you. And that is 100% not true. Your worth as a human being is not defined by if you choose to procreate or not. 

In my group of friends, we are split 50/50 on women who want kids versus women who don’t. Talking to my friends who don’t want kids (as someone who wants kids), I can completely understand why they don’t want to have them. And they can completely understand why I do. But we respect the other’s personal choice and don’t try to change the other’s opinion.

Don’t let the pressure society puts on women to have kids influence your very personal, important decision. With any normal decision in life, if the idea of doing something provides you zero joy, fulfillment or happiness, most likely you won’t do it. So why is this decision treated any differently? 

So, unless you are pushing that child out of your vagina yourself, or personally taking care of it for the next 18 years: the next time someone says they don’t want kids, mind your business. 🙂