Who remembers every time someone called you beautiful? 

Me neither. 

Who remembers every time someone called you fat, ugly, or made fun of you? 

I do too.

Words can HURT. 

Especially when you are a little girl. Society tells us (most of the time subliminally but sometimes even directly) that we are supposed to look a certain way. So when someone tells you that you’re fat, or that you’re ugly, when you’re a 12 year old girl your world feels like it’s crumbling.

~Not to mention, back in the day (before the age of girls learning how to be makeup wizards on Tik Tok) none of us stood a chance. Ok I’m dating myself~ 

But what scares me the most is that I can tell you every single time growing up that someone called me a name, said I was ugly or fat, or every time someone has rejected me. 

But I cannot recall any of the times growing up that someone told me I was smart. 

I cannot recall any of the times someone told me I was a hard worker.

I cannot recall any of the times someone complimented my ambition, was impressed by my determination, or appreciated my talents.

And this isn’t to say people didn’t tell me those things. I know that all of those things happened. I know my teachers called me smart. I know my coaches told me I was one of the hardest workers in the room. I know I was complimented endlessly for singing at church or in a talent show. 

But I don’t have specific memories of that. Do you know what do I remember? 

The time a boy I thought was cute told me outside of the library in 5th grade that I was chubby. I can tell you what I was wearing, who was there and paint it for you like a picture. 

How sad is that? 

I’m hopeful that with our generation (us 30 something’s) raising the next generation and interacting with the girls of today: that we help them forget the dumb sh*t people are going to say about their appearances. And instead help them remember the times they are told they are smart, that they are important, that they are going to do amazing things. If those are their core memories, then we have all done something right. 

If I could tell 5th grade me anything now, it would be: 

“Honey, when you are a CEO someday and probably that boy’s boss, nobody is going to give a sh*t if you’re chubby.”