Advice for Getting Off Autopilot

Have you ever been in one of those slumps in your life where everything feels really rote & mundane? Like you’re just going through the motions, and the motions are good things, and the motions aren’t hurting you or anyone else, but you’re also not particularly excited about the motions either?

Hi, my name is Emily and I have been a victim of my own Mundane Motions many times before.

My extensive experience in Autopilot Land makes me feel *just* qualified enough to offer you my best advice for when you find yourself in a similar situation, either currently or ever in the future.

It’s pretty revolutionary. Get ready. I’m not sure how I ever came up with it.

If you’re feeling bored by your life, stop doing things that bore you.

Like I said— revolutionary, right?

The problem is, most people misidentify “boredom” in their life as “lack of motivation.”

We say things like, “I just don’t feel motivated to do anything these days” or “I have no motivation to workout.”

We don’t say, “I’m bored by what I’ve been doing,” or “My workouts are boring me.”

We misdiagnose boredom as a lack of motivation and thus, begin to seek “motivation” to push us back into the once-whirring, rhythmic-routine of our lives.

The problem with this is that instead of addressing the activities, we’re addressing our energy towards doing the activities, which is effectively like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Maybe the problem is not us, but rather the thing.

“But the square used to fit!” we object. “I used to put this square in this hole all the time and it fulfilled me. It fit. It worked. Why not now?”

Because we change.
We grow.
Our needs & pleasure-points evolve.
This is a beautiful thing when we adapt to those changes, but a tragically annoying thing when we don’t. We conclude we’re “unmotivated” and—especially in the realm of our health & fitness—proceed to beat ourselves up as if enough self-flagellation will eventually lead to us wanting to do those activities again.

(I know what you’re thinking— Gee, it seems even more logical when you write it all out like that, right?)

But alas, it is not motivation we seek but excitement!

For we are not unmotivated, we are un-excited! It’s not that we don’t want to do anything, it’s just that we don’t want to do these specific things.

This epiphany occurs to me often, (usually after much too much time spent berating myself for lacking motivation) but it hit me particularly hard the other day as I was reluctantly lacing up my shoes to head to the gym after work. I was thinking about the workout I had pre-planned a few days prior, and I was totally not looking forward to it.

So write another one! I said to myself.

And I did.

And I chose movements that I hadn’t done in a while, movements that excited me, and suddenly, I was excited to go workout!

I repeat → If you’re feeling bored by your life, stop doing things that bore you.

I also repeat → You’re not unmotivated. You’re un-excited. You don’t need motivation. You need things that excite you!

Even though excitement seems like a super fun thing, the things that excite us often escape us, because they change as we change. What used to be thrilling and new and fun, is now familiar. It’s time to find new exciting things.

It can take some think-time. And it will likely feel uncomfortable. sticky. maybe even not-that-exciting at first. Because, by nature of it being exciting, it will have to have some element of new-ness to it, and new stuff can also be scary stuff.

But still, this has been the best method of attack for ending those spells of lather-rinse-repeat mundaneness that plague all evolving souls— perhaps more often the ADD souls whose excitement wears off sooner than it does for others.

Some ideas of ~exciting~ things to try if you find yourself feeling “unmotivated” (aka— bored) with things lately:

  • cook a new recipe (bonus points for grocery shopping at a new store for the ingredients)

  • wander through the library

  • get a library card if you don’t already have one— even if you never use it, it’s so much more fun than you’re imagining to just be in the library to get the card!

  • drive to your nearest trail (use this handy dandy app to find one)

  • look for a volunteer opportunity

  • get on Google maps and look for the nearest green space or body of water, drive to it

  • sit outside (or near a window if you live in the South & do not have a death wish) with a blank piece of paper and pencil & try to draw something

  • try a new leisure class/activity: pottery, martial arts, paddle boarding, yoga, beer brewing, sewing, dance, foreign language

  • if your fitness center has multiple locations, try a new one. If not, take advantage of the free “trial” at a local gym just for a change of scenery

  • rearrange a space in your home where you spend a lot of time

  • spend some time in a space in your home where you don’t spend a lot of time

  • do something different when you wake up in the morning

  • do something different before you go to bed

  • think of something you haven’t done in a while that you used to do often, and go do it!

  • plan a day-trip to a cool out-of-town restaurant/coffee shop/brewery/shop

What do you do when you feel like you’ve been stuck on autopilot? Keep forcing the same things? Anything in particular that seems to get you out of your routine in a healthy way? Let me know so I can share with the rest of the class!

Emily Steele

Based in Fort Worth, TX but hailing from south Louisiana, Emily is a writer and creator at heart with a passion for promoting strong, confident women and human kindness all around. Emily has a background in elementary education, but made the shift to personal training and self-confidence coaching for women in 2017 before taking on her current full-time marketing role. She still loves to write about the societal narratives surrounding girls and women, lift big weights and run big trails, and you can catch her snuggling with her German Shepherd or doing house projects with her husband, Michael, when she’s not writing, lifting, or working.

https://www.instagram.com/__emilyjsteele__/
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